Listening - The Most Important Part Of Communication

The most neglected part of any verbal communication is Listening. Communication, as we all know is a two way street. A message  has  to be received by the recipient in the same manner that it has been delivered. One may be the most articulate speaker in the world but all is lost if the person one is addressing does not "listen".

So is "hearing" different from "listening"? Yes, absolutely! You may "hear" sounds and voices but only when you focus can you be said to be "listening". Now let us think--- suppose you were talking to someone but he or she looks distracted, or stares blankly ahead at something else or worse still, ignores you--- what would you feel? Neglected? Hurt? Irritated? Angry? Maybe all these feelings will cross your mind and the first seeds of conflict will be registered . The speaker, according to you is rude and uncaring. You may not wish to speak to the person again unless you absolutely have to. On the other hand, if someone listens to you attentively and asks questions to clarify some thoughts and responds to your questions effectively,it could be the beginning of a good relationship!

In your personal as well as professional lives, listening is an important communication tool. At work, instructions have to be followed and issues discussed interactively. Friends and family would like to share their thoughts with you. There are people who are good speakers but talk all the time, interrupt others and force their points of view on others. The moment someone starts speaking they get up and leave or act distracted. These people are"non-communicators". Verbal Communication is just a one way street for them. Words should flow from them to you and not vice-versa! People distance themselves from these non-communicators because while talking, they either become too boring or bossy and pushy.

Listening is an acquired skill and easy to adopt. One need not go through rigorous training as in public speaking. No need to modulate voice and tone and add new vocabulary. Just pay attention to another person while he or she talks.A good communicator listens "actively". Nod your head, maintain eye contact and make a few listening sounds such as"hmmm..","yeah", periodically. Do not interrupt but you can ask relevant questions to clarify your doubts. Listen with empathy. This means, respond according to the mood. For good news, respond enthusiastically with a "wow!" or "great!". Lower your voice and say"ohhh..." if what you heard caused concern. Sometimes, you can repeat what the speaker is saying to show that you have understood. If you are facing the speaker, change your expressions and use other non-verbal communication like hugging, touching and shaking your head whenever appropriate.

A good listener instills confidence and trust in others. A true leader is always a good listener. People seek out a good listener to share their problems and seek advice and counseling.

Go ahead...start now!